I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
