SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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