Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
