whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
