Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
