Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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