he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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