Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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