keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
