Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
