Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize