I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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