jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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