if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
