god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize
