remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
