I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You can't just leave with hair like that
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
