Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
And then my night got REAL pukey
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize