So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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