apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
