# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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