is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
