It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
