alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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