I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
