well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
