Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Did I show you my penis last night?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
