put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
the raccoons are back...
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