So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize