Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
