I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
