i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
