I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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