This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
