when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
