OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
