So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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