if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
