I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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