White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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