Swine flu. Run for my life!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
