I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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