Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
