hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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