If that was your dad, he is hot
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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