Michael Bay diarrhea
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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