That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
