last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize