why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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