physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
