You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
