fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
