The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
