dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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