yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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