We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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