Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
