i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
