I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
