ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Randomize
