There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
