I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
The air taste purple.
Randomize
