first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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