the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
