Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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